This has been a HARD week. I cannot begin to count the tears cried or the times I have broken or nearly broken into streams of tears. I miss our child, the one we do not yet have a face/name for, the one who probably has NO utter idea who we are, or that we love them immensely.
I am writing this LONG post to detail our journey to right here. We have been planning and pursuing adoption in some fashion or form for 4 years now, but we have been pursuing God's plan of adoption for us since last fall. Our dossier was sent to Ethiopia July 27, 2012.
Now we wait....and wait...
I know that 'technically' we have not been waiting all that long, but it has been an emotionally vested journey for 4 years and those 4 years are beginning to take a toll. Here is the long story....
In January 2008, I felt my heartstrings tugging for another child. I didn't know how, who, what, but I felt that inner drive for motherhood again. I had a dream and in that dream all I saw was a blurry family portrait, apparently I was the photographer HA, it was Judson, myself, Lorelei, and someone I did not know but it was obvious they were not a biological match to us. I decided to share that dream with Judson and in conversation we talked about adopting, if we could ever or should ever. Something clicked but me, being me, thought how could we, it is time consuming, money consuming, too many uncertains for this type A personality!
So I did what was 'logical' in my mind, and easier, we tried to have a child, after months of no such luck, and each month, unlike my drive to have our first, there was almost a sense of relief when I would find out I was not expecting. I knew deep down inside I wanted, desired, craved to be a mother again, but it wasn't supposed to be this way. Judson and I again had a talk and decided to look into international adoption since we both felt a peace about that. We applied for information for Haiti. The agency kept pushing for deposits even after we found out I was not old enough and even though we had been married a while it was not the 10 year minimum they had at the time. The push for money to start an adoption that would never be processed left a bitter taste in my mouth about international adoption.
Judson a little while later brought up foster care. It felt awkward to me, but I thought, Judson's interested, it's nearly free, why not? It took FOREVER to find an agency that was willing to offer flexible training for Judson's 100+ hour on-call work schedule and it took a while to get trained. As I became more comfortable with foster care, Judson became more uneasy. Then we were informed Judson was being promoted and we were moving to Virginia. TWO days after this news, we get a call that we were official North Carolina foster care parents, followed by the disheartening news that Virginia was the only neighboring state that did not accept NC training. Let's just say, when you don't do things God's way there is never unity and he will throw you in the belly of a whale (for us, having to move from a place we loved).
The next 3 months were painful, we were living in a nice home, in a nice small neighborhood, in the middle of nowhere; it took 25 mins to get to a town. The subdivision had a community well/water re-processing plant and we were in the first home from the re-processing plant. My daughter's BEAUTIFUL gorgeous strawberry blonde ringlets began to fry and frizz and break from the extreme chlorine and hardness of the water. We had to wash our hair with gallon jugs of store bought water and limit water exposure because your skin would start to burn. We were living on air mattresses and out of a few suitcases and the heat decided when it would or wouldn't work and it was a COLD winter. Both of our dogs gained weight, even they were depressed LOL!
After looking at 200+ houses online and looking at a lot, we had narrowed our search to 5 homes. One was a home that was WAY out of our price range, and I thought that house impossible and unnecessary Judson kept printing and getting flyers from our realtor and I kept throwing them away. Then we declared one weekend THE weekend we were going to put a contract on one of those homes. EVERY home sold either while we were still touring them or on our way back for a second viewing except for the one I was adamantly against, not that it wasn't a good home, oh no it was great, it was beautiful. Later on that day, I had one of life's "get-real-with-Jesus" moments. With two shower caps on I sat in the shower, skin burning, crying. We couldn't find a home. I finally gave up, something I should have done a long time ago. I gave up and told God to take over, I quit! I was confused, where were we going to live, should we still adopt? I cried out, "I don't know God but you do and I quit...you tell me. Wherever you want me to go, wherever you want me to live, whatever the cost/sacrifice...I surrender. I will go, I will do, I just need you to lead." I meant it, I was tired, I was weary and I was clueless as to what to do next. The next day Judson still was interested in that last home, so he said, let's just offer what we can afford and see what happens, I, still thinking they would never accept and too tired to argue, said sure. They accepted. For crying out loud?!?!!?!? I was floored. Then we had to find financing, again I was doubtful, Judson sent out umpteen applications they all replied no...but the last one said yes. At that point you would THINK I would open my eyes and see that what God designs, he prepares a way for. But no, I am stubborn.
God had already started in my heart to begin applying for adoption agencies information. I asked online for any agency suggestions and a former pastor's wife (who was adopting from Ethiopia) offered advice/support if we chose Africa. I told her we were not interested in Africa at that time...Funny and Ironic! I was unsure of how vested Judson would be willing to be, he loathes travel by car, by plane...just not his cup of tea, especially since his job revolves around it. I knew international was both expensive and time consuming. After receiving a few brochures from various agencies and trying to find the easiest and most affordable route, Judson saw me muddling over them and just said, "pick something and go with it". I had too many doubts and reservations about making the wrong move again. I asked him about international, thinking he would say no, instead he asked where. I said I was thinking South America, India, or Africa, again thinking he would say something to the effect of no. He just said, let's pray about it and make sure this time we know the right thing. See a pattern of me being a doubting Thomas only to get proven wrong? Again why am I not getting this?
Shortly after that we were moving in and looking for churches and still chewing on the idea of the adoption who/where/what's. I began talking with Judson to see if he had ANY clarity or direction and I began expressing my concerns about the length of travel and costs associated with international. Judson, my amazing husband, gave me the look of utter disappointment and said "don't you think God will take care of the money and travel, if it is His will?" I melted, how could I doubt what God could do? I was just so impressed with the willing heart my husband had. He didn't care about the travel and he wasn't concerned with the costs, he had utter faith that whatever God called us to do, he would provide the motivation, desire, and finances. All this time I was fearful of Judson's stance when it was ME!!!! YAY!! I got it, I needed to have faith and willingness to move...wahoo, only took God reminding me how many times?!? So our prayers switched to asking God to be direct and very evident because we needed to know what His will was.
One Sunday on the way to church, Judson stopped to get the newspaper which isn't unusual but 90% of the time it sets there until we return home. He sat it in my lap and the front page article was about the rise of Ethiopian children being driven to orphanages due to the severe drought and famine. I, although book-smart, often do not 'get' things. At church we stood in line at the coffee bar because Judson wanted coffee, about half way up the line he ask if I have any money, it was one of those "whose on first" moments. "I replied, no, don't you", "no, that's why I am asking you". "Well Judson why are we in line?" "I don't know, are you sure you don't have a dollar?" "Yes, how are you going to get coffee if we don't have money"...well this conversation went on way too long until it was our turn at the coffee counter. The coffee point blank in front of my face ETHIOPIAN blend. Still uncertain I sat through church praying. Later I asked Judson about and showed him the AWAA pamphlet on it and his reponse "send off the application". When I mention you had to send in money with it, he never once asked how much, just replied again to do it. The process for paperwork, although confusing at times, went really smoothly and faster than we anticipated.
We have had a peace about Ethiopia and knowing that is so comforting, but now that there is not paper work and busy work to keep our hands/minds focused on. I find myself tired and wanting that precious referral call. Every time that I hear the wait has increased I tend to get disheartened, but God through my precious husband who has the patience of a saint on most things, and my loving friends, and family, remind me that God's timing is the best, it is in fact perfect. He is Sovereign and nothing will delay His will. When I feel like the length of time is my 'fault' for fear and trying to do things the easier way, they lovingly remind me that God doesn't punish and He knew I would be stubborn and fearful. He has had a masterpiece in the works for a long time and it will be as He intended!
Although I don't have a face, and we don't know if our little girl will have a sibling come alongside, she/they are EVER so real to me, tangibly so. I love them, I mourn for them as if they have been in our family and have been gone away for a bit too long. I know they may not love us right away and they may never feel like a part of our family, and know there are a million scenarios, but I have learned that I HAVE to do what God has called me too, not only will he throw you in the belly of a whale till you surrender, you can't have that peace that passes all understanding when you are trying to control your own life. I know there will be adjustments, chaos, stress, but every life change does and just like always He will give just the right amount of resources, strength, and grace. I just know that I have to do my part and know that the only thing I can control, is making sure I am not in control, but that HE is. Because whatever work He begins, He will see it to fruition and the Bible promises that "He works all things together for the good, for those that love Him". I trust Him and even though this week has been HARD and my patience is shredded, I must trust that each day that passes is for a purpose and His will, will prevail and oh what a sweet day it will be to rejoice that all our emotional journeys have reached an end on the chapter of this adoption! At that moment a new book will begin to chronicle our tales of becoming a family....till that day I must find contentment with the numerous, overflowing blessing I have and peace that His will is being done, right now! Tomorrows worries and anxiousness will have to wait, for today has enough of it's own!
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
Sunday, March 18, 2012
Exchange
My post title may sound strange and the accompanying story/explanation long, but I find it fitting.
Today Tasha, a friend, asked me how I was doing. I am sure after I posted my long response she will think twice before asking me again!!! HA HA
This morning when I answered I felt a sense of hopelessness, slight uncertainty, and most definitely could feel disbelief. When I answered I felt like all the hopes and dreams I have of adoption are just that. But then came church.
I sat there and all of the sudden felt overwhelmed at the presence of everyone around me. Tall people, short people, skinny people, larger people, old, young, healthy, injured, happy, sad, black, white, tan, clean shaven, some I wondered if they had even bothered to bath, nicely dressed, scantly dressed, sloppy, as I am sure you are gathering the picture...all shapes, colors, types of people. I have heard the bible verse Psalm 139: 13-14...
I always have heard it, or have taken it to mean my physical appearance is wonderfully and perfectly made and that I should love myself for who I am and the body I was given, but today I think I got it. Our bodies are imperfect, some bodies are healthy some are not, they are fragile, temporary. I am not saying that there are beautiful people and ugly people in this world, but that God "sees us for who we REALLY are". I think the fearfully, wonderfully, beautiful parts that God made are our souls, the parts of us that will never die.
As I looked across the people with all our imperfections, I saw a room filled with beauty. Beautiful souls all loved with a love so amazing and incredible that He sent His son in exchange for us.
What on earth does that have to do with our adoption? Well not entirely too much other than it reminded me of the abundant love we are called to have for each other because regardless of what/who we are, we have souls that all were made by love and for love. God calls us to 'love one another as Christ loves us', that can be quite a challenge to love imperfect, moody, grouchy, and unlovable people. Today in service we learned about covenants. Covenants are not contracts that are made based upon agreements, rules, provisions and protections, a covenant is a one way agreements that does not hinge upon the other person's actions or response. Like a marriage vow, we make a covenant to our spouse to love them NO MATTER WHAT they do, how they look, how they act, and promise that we will not break that covenant even if they do not love us in return until death relinquishes us. And we hope, that our spouse will make that same covenant to us, but that does not guarantee an easy road. Life is filled with obstacles, sorrows flow into the times of joy, challenges and our human nature to make mistakes inevitably makes life tough. I made a covenant before God promising to love Judson Owen until one of us dies. At the time I loved him sure, but I don't think I 'got it'. I don't think anyone at the altar really does. Life is a long time, just ask someone spending a life sentence in jail HA HA HA.
I have had three major life changing desires in my life. The first was to chose Judson over a life without him. Our marriage came at a cost, it cost me a strained relationship with my family, my car, my schooling, my 'before Judson dreams'. At the time the price seemed so high, but an overwhelming urge/feeling told me it was right, and now looking back 10 years later I would have paid that price and more. A price I once thought so steep seems so trivial in the joys and growth I have had in my marriage. I still pray and very much love my family and I do believe that God is in control of that situation!
My second life changing desire happened on a cold January night in 2006. I, a person who NEVER wanted kids, had a dream of a little girl. She even named herself and called me mommy. I awoke the next morning knowing/feeling that I HAD to be a mom, I had to have a baby. My poor, sweet husband probably thought I was crazy but the feeling never died. I had been told I shouldn't and possibly couldn't have a baby but December 16, 2006, my literal dream child announced with a positive pregnancy test, that he/she was coming in 8-9 months!! When we found out is was a girl, we knew the name "Lorelei"...afterall she, or God rather, had named herself in my dream almost 1 year earlier. I look back now and pregnancy was unfun, I was sick, tired, fat, fatigued, and the birth was nearly nightmarish, but looking back I would do it all again even if I was more sick, more tired, more fat...my life as a mother is wonderful.
Now again I have a life changing desire. An overwhelming desire and love for a child(ren) that will not look like us. Almost 4 years ago I had the first initial desire to adopt. I envisioned a dark skinned child, a little girl. I knew instantly in my dreams she was "ours". It has been a long process and I have time and time again tried to skirt around it, tried to envision another, easier way. We even tried to do foster care to avoid the costs of adoption. But what we finally realized is that what God has called us to do sometimes sounds hard, seems expensive, and can take time which seems so dreadful in a world culture of 'give-it-to-me-now', but in the end it is worth it.
Today I was reminded of my feelings when I began my marital and motherhood journeys. They were tough and the price seemed so high, man were they ever worth it. I can't imagine my life without Judson or Lorelei and already I can't imagine my life without our adopted child(ren). I love this child already without sight or even a name. This process is expensive, adoption is, and if you aren't eligible for grants it can seem REALLY expensive, but I know, without a shadow of a doubt every ounce of time, effort, and money we invest is well worth it.
Entering marriage wasn't easy. It has had mostly great, amazing days, but there have been those of sadness, bumps, and bruises. Motherhood has also had it's share of blessings with a few mixed in moments of fear, worry, and doubt. Adopting a child from another race, country, culture will have it's own moments of anxiety, challenges, and tears, but I know from past experience that when we do what we are called to do, it is always more of a life-enriching blessing, and the valleys we experience throughout the journey only make us stronger, bring us closer, and enrich our lives in ways we never could have imagined.
I do feel like this process is taking forever, I do wish it to speed up, but I now have a different outlook. God has exchanged my feelings of hopelessness that this will never happen, to knowing it will. Perhaps my initial feelings this morning were because I know the blessings to come, afterall I got to hold hands in church with a man who has a heart and soul just as handsome as his exterior and hear about the day of a beautiful little social butterfly who often graces the backseat of our car with mindless chit chat and preciously off-key melodies. I am blessed and look forward to even more blessings that our adoption will bring us.
Today Tasha, a friend, asked me how I was doing. I am sure after I posted my long response she will think twice before asking me again!!! HA HA
This morning when I answered I felt a sense of hopelessness, slight uncertainty, and most definitely could feel disbelief. When I answered I felt like all the hopes and dreams I have of adoption are just that. But then came church.
I sat there and all of the sudden felt overwhelmed at the presence of everyone around me. Tall people, short people, skinny people, larger people, old, young, healthy, injured, happy, sad, black, white, tan, clean shaven, some I wondered if they had even bothered to bath, nicely dressed, scantly dressed, sloppy, as I am sure you are gathering the picture...all shapes, colors, types of people. I have heard the bible verse Psalm 139: 13-14...
For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
I always have heard it, or have taken it to mean my physical appearance is wonderfully and perfectly made and that I should love myself for who I am and the body I was given, but today I think I got it. Our bodies are imperfect, some bodies are healthy some are not, they are fragile, temporary. I am not saying that there are beautiful people and ugly people in this world, but that God "sees us for who we REALLY are". I think the fearfully, wonderfully, beautiful parts that God made are our souls, the parts of us that will never die.
As I looked across the people with all our imperfections, I saw a room filled with beauty. Beautiful souls all loved with a love so amazing and incredible that He sent His son in exchange for us.
What on earth does that have to do with our adoption? Well not entirely too much other than it reminded me of the abundant love we are called to have for each other because regardless of what/who we are, we have souls that all were made by love and for love. God calls us to 'love one another as Christ loves us', that can be quite a challenge to love imperfect, moody, grouchy, and unlovable people. Today in service we learned about covenants. Covenants are not contracts that are made based upon agreements, rules, provisions and protections, a covenant is a one way agreements that does not hinge upon the other person's actions or response. Like a marriage vow, we make a covenant to our spouse to love them NO MATTER WHAT they do, how they look, how they act, and promise that we will not break that covenant even if they do not love us in return until death relinquishes us. And we hope, that our spouse will make that same covenant to us, but that does not guarantee an easy road. Life is filled with obstacles, sorrows flow into the times of joy, challenges and our human nature to make mistakes inevitably makes life tough. I made a covenant before God promising to love Judson Owen until one of us dies. At the time I loved him sure, but I don't think I 'got it'. I don't think anyone at the altar really does. Life is a long time, just ask someone spending a life sentence in jail HA HA HA.
I have had three major life changing desires in my life. The first was to chose Judson over a life without him. Our marriage came at a cost, it cost me a strained relationship with my family, my car, my schooling, my 'before Judson dreams'. At the time the price seemed so high, but an overwhelming urge/feeling told me it was right, and now looking back 10 years later I would have paid that price and more. A price I once thought so steep seems so trivial in the joys and growth I have had in my marriage. I still pray and very much love my family and I do believe that God is in control of that situation!
My second life changing desire happened on a cold January night in 2006. I, a person who NEVER wanted kids, had a dream of a little girl. She even named herself and called me mommy. I awoke the next morning knowing/feeling that I HAD to be a mom, I had to have a baby. My poor, sweet husband probably thought I was crazy but the feeling never died. I had been told I shouldn't and possibly couldn't have a baby but December 16, 2006, my literal dream child announced with a positive pregnancy test, that he/she was coming in 8-9 months!! When we found out is was a girl, we knew the name "Lorelei"...afterall she, or God rather, had named herself in my dream almost 1 year earlier. I look back now and pregnancy was unfun, I was sick, tired, fat, fatigued, and the birth was nearly nightmarish, but looking back I would do it all again even if I was more sick, more tired, more fat...my life as a mother is wonderful.
Now again I have a life changing desire. An overwhelming desire and love for a child(ren) that will not look like us. Almost 4 years ago I had the first initial desire to adopt. I envisioned a dark skinned child, a little girl. I knew instantly in my dreams she was "ours". It has been a long process and I have time and time again tried to skirt around it, tried to envision another, easier way. We even tried to do foster care to avoid the costs of adoption. But what we finally realized is that what God has called us to do sometimes sounds hard, seems expensive, and can take time which seems so dreadful in a world culture of 'give-it-to-me-now', but in the end it is worth it.
Today I was reminded of my feelings when I began my marital and motherhood journeys. They were tough and the price seemed so high, man were they ever worth it. I can't imagine my life without Judson or Lorelei and already I can't imagine my life without our adopted child(ren). I love this child already without sight or even a name. This process is expensive, adoption is, and if you aren't eligible for grants it can seem REALLY expensive, but I know, without a shadow of a doubt every ounce of time, effort, and money we invest is well worth it.
Entering marriage wasn't easy. It has had mostly great, amazing days, but there have been those of sadness, bumps, and bruises. Motherhood has also had it's share of blessings with a few mixed in moments of fear, worry, and doubt. Adopting a child from another race, country, culture will have it's own moments of anxiety, challenges, and tears, but I know from past experience that when we do what we are called to do, it is always more of a life-enriching blessing, and the valleys we experience throughout the journey only make us stronger, bring us closer, and enrich our lives in ways we never could have imagined.
I do feel like this process is taking forever, I do wish it to speed up, but I now have a different outlook. God has exchanged my feelings of hopelessness that this will never happen, to knowing it will. Perhaps my initial feelings this morning were because I know the blessings to come, afterall I got to hold hands in church with a man who has a heart and soul just as handsome as his exterior and hear about the day of a beautiful little social butterfly who often graces the backseat of our car with mindless chit chat and preciously off-key melodies. I am blessed and look forward to even more blessings that our adoption will bring us.
Friday, March 2, 2012
Long time no posts...but always VERY present!
SO much has changed since my last post, but not our hearts and desires for that special child(ren) that are out there meant to be in our home.
Finding out we were moving, followed by the call two days later that we had been approved in the foster care system to adopt was heart wrenching.
I think I died a bit that day, or at least a little piece of my heart. It was hard and I found myself questioning the whole adoption idea. Why did I want to adopt when every door we had tried to open SLAMMED shut in our faces?
A few months down the road, my spiritual epiphany came (I think God was saying it all along but yeah...we didn't listen-imagine that?!?!)
We were trying to adopt our way, in our time, in our comfort, in our peace, which all oddly enough left us with no peace and no child. We had to do major soul searching a praying. Judson and I both felt and agreed that we initially felt the draw to international adoption but the 'fears' and worries of money, travel, time made it too daunting. We had in a sense decided to limit God, put Him in our little box of 'let's do it our way God, your's is too hard' box. As usually He in His awesome ways did not let us force open doors He did not want for us.
So last year we decided to quit playing the part of Jonah and leave the belly of the whale and do what we should be doing.
With prayer and petition we are back to international and inching slowly toward our desire to adopt. We find ourselves doubting and fretting from time to time from lessons learned and fear of repeating, but Judson and I are excited to announce we are in the throws of adopting from Ethiopia. We are completely relying on God and having to check our hearts with Him daily. If there is anything we have learned from the past is that God needs, deserves, and desires to be in control in our lives and we have found that He is WAAAAY better at leading us than we ever could be...He is big, cool, and awesome like that. I am so glad I serve a God of mercy, grace, and multiple chances, and as odd as it sounds, glad He lets us stew in the belly of a whale sometimes till we remember that He is the one that should be leading/deciding for us. After all, a God who can create the universe, the Earth, mankind and all the amazing things He has, why not trust Him to bring the money, the fluidity, the peace in our decision? Seems like such a no brainer, but I am sure, as true to my stubborn self, will forget this moment and try again to lead my own life to find disaster awaiting. I just hope that there are less of those moments ahead and that I quickly will humble myself and get back on the right track way sooner!
We are working with America World Adoption, one of the first two companies we contacted initially 4 years ago (ironic right?) I am not sure how we picked Ethiopia, just what we saw in our hearts and felt peace about, I can't really describe that process, it just kind of chose itself.
We are in the early stages of the homestudy meaning, we were accepted in the program and have began the homestudy, we are working on building our packed (dossier) of legal paperwork to submit to Ethiopia and then we will wait for Ethiopia (God actually) to refer a child(ren) to us...we travel for a few days, come home, go back and bring home our precious child(ren).
Things we are asking/coveting prayer for...
Finding out we were moving, followed by the call two days later that we had been approved in the foster care system to adopt was heart wrenching.
I think I died a bit that day, or at least a little piece of my heart. It was hard and I found myself questioning the whole adoption idea. Why did I want to adopt when every door we had tried to open SLAMMED shut in our faces?
A few months down the road, my spiritual epiphany came (I think God was saying it all along but yeah...we didn't listen-imagine that?!?!)
We were trying to adopt our way, in our time, in our comfort, in our peace, which all oddly enough left us with no peace and no child. We had to do major soul searching a praying. Judson and I both felt and agreed that we initially felt the draw to international adoption but the 'fears' and worries of money, travel, time made it too daunting. We had in a sense decided to limit God, put Him in our little box of 'let's do it our way God, your's is too hard' box. As usually He in His awesome ways did not let us force open doors He did not want for us.
So last year we decided to quit playing the part of Jonah and leave the belly of the whale and do what we should be doing.
With prayer and petition we are back to international and inching slowly toward our desire to adopt. We find ourselves doubting and fretting from time to time from lessons learned and fear of repeating, but Judson and I are excited to announce we are in the throws of adopting from Ethiopia. We are completely relying on God and having to check our hearts with Him daily. If there is anything we have learned from the past is that God needs, deserves, and desires to be in control in our lives and we have found that He is WAAAAY better at leading us than we ever could be...He is big, cool, and awesome like that. I am so glad I serve a God of mercy, grace, and multiple chances, and as odd as it sounds, glad He lets us stew in the belly of a whale sometimes till we remember that He is the one that should be leading/deciding for us. After all, a God who can create the universe, the Earth, mankind and all the amazing things He has, why not trust Him to bring the money, the fluidity, the peace in our decision? Seems like such a no brainer, but I am sure, as true to my stubborn self, will forget this moment and try again to lead my own life to find disaster awaiting. I just hope that there are less of those moments ahead and that I quickly will humble myself and get back on the right track way sooner!
We are working with America World Adoption, one of the first two companies we contacted initially 4 years ago (ironic right?) I am not sure how we picked Ethiopia, just what we saw in our hearts and felt peace about, I can't really describe that process, it just kind of chose itself.
We are in the early stages of the homestudy meaning, we were accepted in the program and have began the homestudy, we are working on building our packed (dossier) of legal paperwork to submit to Ethiopia and then we will wait for Ethiopia (God actually) to refer a child(ren) to us...we travel for a few days, come home, go back and bring home our precious child(ren).
Things we are asking/coveting prayer for...
- Continued peace and direction for this adoption
- number of children, ages, boy/girl/both
- That the money/funding would find it's way into our bank accounts!!
- For the future travel
- for safety
- for direction on who goes (do we take Lorelei to visit her new sibling(s)?)
- For our child(ren) that they would be safe and be in a loving environment until they can be in our arms
Thank you all for your prayers, support, and kind words!
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