I know that these desires are God given, so we persevere on this course. We lean on each other for support as we wait and trust in God and His timing. A scripture I have often sought for so many reasons has brought new meaning to my heart recently...
1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
- Love is patient
- Ugggggg.....so patience is love, waiting patiently even when my heart feels so heavy, I must wait. This also implies trust. Trusting that God is aware and not only aware of our situation but WORKING, actively to restore, heal, and bring the desires He gave us to fruition.
- Love is not jealous
- I have to admit this has been a struggle. It is hard to rejoice with those receiving referrals and going to bring their children home, when I feel so tired and weary. When a spirit feels weak, it is difficult to find joy for others, but to be as God commanded us I must love as he loves, and that is never envious.
- Love never gives up
- I can't give up. If someone were to take our daughter, I would NEVER give up, so even though my eyes have not seen this child(ren), they are mine and I keep pushing on till they are home!!
- Love never loses faith
- This too has been a struggle. Faith is "the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen" (Hebrews 11:1, KJV). I hope for these children with the evidence being my conviction to pursue them to find them and to love them. I have to have faith that God is doing this, it is already underway.
- Love is hopeful
- Finding hope can be hard, especially as the journey progresses farther and farther away from where we began, and when you cannot see the end it feels so daunting. I thank my great husband and Christian family for reminding me of all the reasons I have to keep remaining hopeful.
- Love endures all things
- all the paperwork, screening, questions, negative remarks, those who are unsupportive, the wait, the doubts, the fears, the anxiety, the enemy is actively making this journey arduous.
In applying God's commandment 'to love as He first loved us', I find it hard, nearly impossible...strike that....absolutely impossible to be love at all times. I am so thankful for His grace when I fall short of love, when I feel angry about our situation, upset by the length of time, mad at myself for not trusting initially and being 'Jonah' by trying every other route that was easier first, sad that I am missing out on moments as a family, brokenhearted seeing our daughter grow up without a sibling....
BUT
I have to hold onto what I know is true, God's promises.
He will never leave us or forget us.
He loves us SOOOO much that He sent His son to die for us.
That He who began a work will see it through.
All things work together for the good for those who love Him.
Ask and it will be given to you, seek and you will find, knock and the door will be opened.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding but in all things submit to Him and He will make your paths straight.
Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.
