Ever smiled when you didn't want to? Ever answer the question "how are you" with an untruthful "fine"? Ever muster a laugh while in conversation when you just want to sink to the floor and cry?
We've all done it. But why?
We are called to "bear one another's burdens". But if your like me, you find yourself unworthy of burdening others. We fall prey to the enemy's cry that our problems do not warrant a shoulder to cry on, that people have their own burdens, that we should count our blessings instead of give moments to our troubles, take it to Jesus in prayer.
So, at times, we find ourselves bottling up, plastering up false facades, becoming solitary when the sadness is too much, eventually finding yourself alone, tired, weary, worn, feeling beaten. So if we have all been there, how do we get out? How do we unyoke our burdens, unearth our buried sadness that has left such a deep stain in our emotional soil? What do you do when your prayers and heavenward cries seem to go unanswered? Where do you turn when the Bible seems to be written in some secret code? Who can you talk to when you have estranged yourself because it seemed easier to 'go it alone'?
Today I looked over our 6 year journey of adoption and talk about emotional journey. There were some real highs of hopeful expectation and some cries for relief from the emotional stress. Today I am in a low. I had hopeful wishes for our adoption journey this past Christmas, which came and went without any sign, glint, or glimmer. I heard it a million times, " adoption isn't for the faint of heart", but like the new-parent cliché "they grow up too fast"....it's true! As well as another I can currently attest to "when it rains it pours".
In the past, I have unburied myself by setting my sights on dates /situations, it works until that date/situation comes around and expires without your expected outcome. I have found it unwise to set your hopes on things outside of your control. Also over this journey I have learned what little control we have in our lives. I have also vested into the Bible and prayer which have sometimes not been as clear as I had hoped. *please note I am not saying do not invest yourself in prayer and scripture... investing in those things will NEVER return void, but you may not see, hear, read clear narratives or directives on your situation*
