When the Wait Hurts

Tomorrow marks month number 26 of waiting for a referral from Ethiopia and 6 years of trying to adopt.

It hurts.  It literally in every sense hurts.  Emotionally I am drained, physically exhausted, mentally I am just so tired and can't even begin to process waiting longer.  Usually this 'sadness' hits around Thanksgiving and Christmas when I feel they should be here to be a part of all the festivities, but this year it has come sooner.

We just moved and God has been ever so faithful in blessing us with amazing neighbors, an amazing church, and other adoptive families, but I still long for those precious souls my heart already inpart belongs too.  I want them here. I am tired, I am worn, I am frustrated.  I am beyond ready to depart from these type of days fueled with tears and sorrow.

I am ready to rejoice, ready to cry out in victory, ready to stream tears of sweet elation down my face.


Waiting hurts.

I am praying for peace and comfort during this time between the promise and fruition. I keep telling myself to "Lift my eyes" and focus not on the waves but on the King.  Today it is just hard to lift my eyes when they are so run down from crying.

I know I will go on, I know tomorrow will be another day, but for now I am glad today is over.  I am tired.

Psalm 13

1 How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever?
    How long will you hide your face from me?
2 How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
    and day after day have sorrow in my heart?
    How long will my enemy triumph over me?

3 Look on me and answer, Lord my God.
    Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death,
4 and my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,”
    and my foes will rejoice when I fall.

5 But I trust in your unfailing love;
    my heart rejoices in your salvation.
6 I will sing the Lord’s praise,
    for he has been good to me